Hehe...Meh...Ugh

Contributor: Bombykol

Merry fucking Christmas.  What did you get?  I got an email, with the following picture attached...

If you're like me, I'm guessing you'll mix your next drink a little stronger.  Here's one more pic, this one a bit older...

Now, who's getting excited about the 2010 White Sox?

Moneyball Lives!

Contributor: Wally

Owing to the relatively modest success of recent Oakland Athletics teams (the nicest way I could think of to put it), it has become common practice to proclaim the death of Moneyball.  This, of course, is false.  Even if on-base percentage were suddenly and inexplicably to fall out of vogue, which is unlikely being as baseball's most elementary tenant remains reaching base, Moneyball consists of more than simply stocking a lineup with high-OBP guys.  Rather, it's about determining market inefficiencies, flaws in player evaluation that allow valuable assets to be had at less than the going rate.  Teams have been doing this, well, forever.  At least since players started pulling in large salaries.  This is how small market teams are able to intermittently compete with the well-financed franchises.  Indeed, despite the best efforts of Dayton Moore and Co., Moneyball is still alive and well, even amongst those with resources.

In fact, it's better than just "well"...it's thriving.  And not just in baseball--in all realms of life.  Take dating, for instance.  Reasonably good-looking but less-than-magnanimous guys have been pulling attractive women for years.  But how?  Maybe she's got a large, slightly pointed nose.  Breasts that do little to inspire.  Calves like an Australian rugby player.  Red hair.  Market inefficiencies always manifest themselves in insecurity, that's how Billy Beane was able to pull off the coups he was able to in the nineties.  If those unathletic, strangely-proportioned, high-OBP/low-BA guys had been properly evaluating themselves (which would have required the free market to at least properly value them some of the time), they wouldn't have all ended up in Oakland.

So go forth, gentlemen.  Find the flaw that's depressing your dream girl's market value and pounce.  We can't all be the Yankees.  Fortunately, with a little help from Michael Lewis and Bennett Miller, we can at least be Brad Pitt.

An Unabashed Homage to...Uni Watch?

Contributor: Wally

We at Minnfarction have stumbled upon the most garishly ornate uniforms in the history of sport.  They belong to the Northland College Lumberjacks cross country team, and boy are they doosies.  ("What if we combined the look of the chintziest apron imaginable with a 'ROAD WORK AHEAD' sign?"...but I digress.)  Before we begin the festivities, a sole commendation is in order: the blue shorts do complement both the orange uniform top and the soulless gingerness quite well.  All pics that follow were taken without the permission of the subjects (to report a violation, click here):

 The "Dayrunner"

The orange and blue combo, complementary as it may be, never looks good when the blue is anything less than a royal or navy hue.  This is particularly true when the blue is straight out of the Crayola 8-Count Crayon set.

We have a playing field as ugly as our uniforms.  We must be Boise State.

As for the plaid...ugh.  Being as Northland is located in Ashland, WI, I can only surmise that they were hedging against their athletes getting picked off by deer hunters.  If you can think of another reason, we're all ears (minnfarction@gmail.com).  While this may be forgivable as piping--the North Carolina Tar Heels, after all, have employed powder blue argyle side panels for years...

...Northland decided to make their's more, uh, conspicuous.  Spare the orange breast plate, the entire [tank] top is orange plaid, even the back.  And the piping sucks too.  (Is it even "piping" when it encompasses half the fabric of the short?)

Somewhere, Richard Simmons is asphyxiating on his own vomit.

All this is quite unfortunate, especially considering their website has pictures of the boys sporting much more tasteful plain white tops, with the word "Northland" displayed humbly across the chest.  Sometimes, less really is more.  That's enough from us--Paul Lukas has been made aware of the situation.  It's in God's hands now.